
“Men often fantasize about a home life free of stress and worry. After work each day, his wife greets him at the door and his well-behaved children are also glad to see him. He enters the comfort of a well-maintained home as his wife urges him to relax before taking part in dinner, the aroma of which he can already smell wafting through the air.” (Willard F. Harley, His Needs, Her Needs)
Generation NeXt Marriage delves into the hot topics and unrealistic expectations of the Generation X marriages. Tricia Goyer candidly shares about her own experiences and struggles shared by many Gen Xers. Compelled by the challenges unique to those born between th 1960s and 1980s, Tricia set out to offer some encouragement and insight for those desiring to build a strong marriage.
Five unique marriage challenges faced by Gen Xers and how to tackle them!
1. Gen Xers saw more divorces than successful marriages. The divorce rate doubled between 1965-1977 and Gen Xers were the victims. 40% of us spent time in a single-family home before age 16. We grew up in families with step-moms and half-siblings and living every other weekend with a different parent and faced the loneliness and alienation of our splintered families. As married adults, Gen Xers can meet their spouse’s need by speaking encouraging words, which are like gold stars to a Gen Xer’s heart — and by never using the D-word. As author Madeleine L’Engle once said, “There are a lot of marriages today that break up just at the point where they could mature and deepen.”
2. Without role models, many GenXers turned to music, movies and television for examples of healthy relationships. Now, we often model our relationships after television sitcoms. We are good at quick comebacks and sassy remarks, without taking time to consider the other person’s heart. We also want our problems wrapped up in thirty minutes or less! Instead, Gen Xers need to understand that unrealistic expectations can hurt our relationships. We also need to treat out spouses with honor and respect, even when we don’t feel like they deserve it.
3. Our teen relationships were intense and often included sexuality, leading to intense breakups and the resulting baggage. By the time many GenXers walked down the aisle, they’d experienced several “pretend-marriages.” Spouses can break free from these bonds when we realize the truth about love, the truth about emotions, and the truth about intimacy. It’s knowing that what we had in the past wasn’t love – and emotions don’t rule. True intimacy is choosing to share our hearts and our struggles with the one we’re committed to for life.
4. Gen Xers were starved for quality time, so they appreciate balance. Doing too much stresses us out. The first thing Gen Xers need to do is realize the impact of our faced-pace lives, and then make plans for peace. It’s cutting out things that won’t matter ten years from now and focusing on the things that will.
5. Gen Xers were labeled the “slackers” and the “grunge” generation. The generations before didn’t think we’d amount to much. Because of this, Gen Xers strive hard to prove themselves. We aren’t content just “living life,” we want to reach our full potential. Spouses can encourage each other to follow their heart dreams. This starts with asking your spouse out his/her dreams, then offering encouragement and support!
My husband and I have just begun reading this book together. Which we highly recommend by the way…you and your spouse read this book together…further encouraging communication. Communication cultivates closeness…leading to deeper intimacy.
If you are a Gen Xer, your marriage has challenges and potentials that no other generation has known. A Gen Xer herself, Tricia Goyer offers realistic help to achieve the God-honoring marriage you long for. She includes:·Ways to protect your marriage despite the broken relationships modeled in your youth
·Stories, suggestions, and confessions from fellow Gen Xers facing the “What now?” question of real-life marriage
·Advice from the ultimate marriage survival guide: the Bible
·Stats, quizzes, sidebars, and study questions related to this “relationally challenged” time in history
·Practical helps for negotiating kids, work, sex, money, and dirty laundry-sometimes all in the same evening
If you are part of a generation of adults who don’t want to bow to their culture or live and love like their parents did — this book is for you.
Read an excerpt from Generation NeXt Marriage here.
Buy the book here.
Win it!
Win Generation NeXt Parenting & Generation NeXt Marriage. Leave a comment! Share an unrealistic expectation you had about marriage. Leave your name and email address for contact purposes.

Tricia Goyer is the author of twelve books including From Dust and Ashes, My Life UnScripted, and the children’s book, 10 Minutes to Showtime. She won Historical Novel of the Year in 2005 and 2006 from ACFW, and was honored with the Writer of the Year award from Mt. Hermon Writer’s Conference in 2003. Tricia’s book Life Interrupted was a finalist for the Gold Medallion in 2005. In addition to her novels, Tricia writes non-fiction books and magazine articles for publications like Today’s Christian Woman and Focus on the Family. Tricia is a regular speaker at conventions and conferences, and has been a workshop presenter at the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International Conventions. She and her family make their home in the mountains of Montana.
Tricia’s Website: TriciaGoyer.com
Win a Dinner for Two
Love Gen X Style!
Share your story and WIN a dinner for TWO to the restaurant of your choice! ($50 maximum)
Tell us the story of how you and your spouse met. If you have photos, send those along, too! All the stories will be published on Tricia’s GenX Parenting blog. The winning story will be the one with the most comments…so tell your friends. A winning story will be chosen at the end of the blog tour and will be published in Tricia’s monthly newsletter!
Open to every one…any where in the world!
[...] my brain is still on vacation. So I’m sending you over to my sister-in-law’s blog A Cup of Joy this week where she’s talking about the book Generation NeXt Marriage. The book focuses on [...]
[...] Where: A Cup of Joy [...]